It has been a long time since I've blogged. With the recent emotional madness and spiritual & physical fatigue, many thoughts have been banging around in my head that I need an outlet to try and pen them down coherently.
Be still.
Today I am attempting to be a human being instead of a human doing.
Stillness rejuvenates me but recently stillness scares me. It forces me to face the emotional lows & thoughts running through my body. Being still makes me acknowledge who/how I truly am instead of who/how I want to be.
I've been bustling around, surrounding myself with people though it wears me out because then I don't have to think. Drowning my inner thoughts with external noise.
I thought if I am able to convince my head, the heart too will believe.
But if you have ever been to the dentist, you will know that even plugging earphones in won't drown out the noises coming from inside of you. In the little moment of stillness when walking to class today, the emotions threaten to overwhelm me.
Maybe it's time to fight restlessness with stillness.
I can only hope it works because I am tired of this split in personalities. Of smiling on the outside but oh so tired on the inside.
Be still my mind, soul and body.
Be still and heal.
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