*dust dust*

it has been a long time since any entry was entered here. testing out the androblog app on my phone. test test.

The Countdown Begins

The end of june is approaching real fast. Unknowingly, I have graduated for 2 months already. It has been a great 2 months traveling and enjoying life with my SLV family here in Buffalo, eating and meeting up to watch korean variety shows. As june approached, we lost many of our SLV family members. Now, SLV family gathering consists a grand total of 3 members. ):

The last few weeks consist of packing, packing and more packing. Packing not only my stuff, but everything else in the house. Taking down photos/bulletins from the walls and fridge make the house feel weird. Everytime I glance up and catch a glimpse of the bare fridge, the feeling just isn't right. (Cassie Unni! The fridge is white again. HAHA. No longer covered in SLV notes!) I'll miss my time here in Buffalo, i'll miss my little apartment that we made into something that was ours.

아! 어떻게!

A year of my life now packed into 2 luggages and many garbage bags and boxes. Ready to be moved with me or be thrown/given away.

小绵羊头！

我的小绵羊头！ 哈哈！

Merci Beaucoup!

Back from a wonderful trip with the family! It was nice to be traveling together again. (: Had great fun during the trip and did amazing things including a helicopter ride up and down the Grand Canyon! Many videos of my flight. Hee.

Updates about the trip will come later when I've sorted through my photos. This is a post to thank some people.

1. My Parents - for the wonderful trip for the family and of course, for my year in Buffalo. Thank you! I really enjoyed myself.

2. My cousins and siblings - for my pretty 21st present! I'm loving my new bag from Kate Spade! Tada!


3. Gwen! Thanks for the pretty bookmark! It's currently being put to good use. Hee. It was nice to hear from you again. (:

(That's my current read.)

I don't feel like I've graduated. Haha. Living on south lake still makes it seem like I'm still going to take the red line to the academic spine for my classes. The last 2 days have been filled with a little packing, lots of dramas and slacking, filing all the forms I have to file and a little job hunting. May I find my job soon!

Family Fun

Wore the robes, put in the cap, walked across the stage and did not fall on my face! I graduated and is officially unemployed. Heh. But I'm having such a grand time with my family that I'm not really bothered with that now. It has been a few real busy days - outlet shopping with lots, I mean, LOTS of loots, niagara falls with some crazy snow in the morning in the middle of may. So much fun! My parents have always been spoiling me so much buying me so much stuff and food that I wouldn't buy on my own.

Am loving my loots from shopping on Saturday! Thank you cousins, bro and sis for my birthday gift! I will post pictures soon! Many new bags to carry out! Yippee!

In the hotel now, leaving for LA early in the morning. Going to see my brother soon! Much excited.

Till I get back! (:

P.S. Congratulations to the class of 2010! To all my dear friends, congratulations!


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Be Present

"Don't speed through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention. Be present."

Last Exam

All I have left now is one last exam in my undergraduate career - French. It's amazing how quickly time has passed. Certainly didn't feel like a long time ago when I first stepped into SIM for my first day of orientation. Now, here I am sitting in my apartment in Buffalo, down to my last 3 days as an undergraduate.

Feeling: Scared. Uncertain about what's to come, feeling that I did not achieve enough.

Happy Side: My family is on their way to visit me! Then it's a nice long holiday with them to the West Coast! (: Their plane should have just taken off at this time. So excited to see them again.

To end off, I would like to dedicate this to my avid reader:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 生日快乐！

P.S. 你又老了！ Once again, welcome to the club! (:

Il n'est pas à cause de la joie

Headache, aching neck and not thinking clearly leads to excessive laughing in instant messaging conversations. :/ Not good.

Cure: a hot shower and an early night's rest. Mmhmm.

P.S. Je pense que je faisais des progrès dans la français. Je suis heureuse! Mais, maintenant, il est difficile et ma classe n'est pas amusant. Il faut que je réussisse mon examen!

I like that I am now able to write mini paragraphs in french without having to look up words or the structure of the sentences. I like how I remember that definite articles have to be used all the time, where most of the accents go or know that different tenses (indicative or subjunctive) have to be used for different situations. I find it funny how sometimes randomly, I find myself looking at something and thinking about it in french (either because of new vocabulary I learnt or wondering if I would know how to say it in french). Even though it's not a lot, like what my french teacher always say, use words you know instead of looking for words you don't know. Coming from a native, I would like to think that's how we make progress.

Big White Clouds in the Clear Blue Sky

2 more weeks of classes as an undergraduate, 1 more week of being a "child". Scary scary scary. Have been pondering about life this past week and wondering how my life is going to play out.

Anyway, I'm supposed to be memorizing my music for performance tonight. Instead, I'm doing everything else but that. I did flip through all 5 songs at least once already though. Lalala~ Tonight's performance will mark the end of chorus class. ): Hope tonight's rehearsal is good, seeing as I didn't think last week's rehearsal was great. The week before, I thought was amazing though! *fingers crossed*

Herbal chicken steaming in the pot now. I am so excited about the broth that I can use to make delicious porridge. I keep thinking if it's possible to make yummy herbal chicken broth without actually steaming the chicken seeing how time consuming the steaming process is (grand total of 2hours or more. Longest I have steamed for was 3 hours. Turned out amazing though!).

As the last semester draws nearer to an end, I find myself enjoying undergraduate life more and more. Have I started enjoying much too late? I don't regret working though. Maybe it's partly because I am staying on campus and am in Buffalo. After all the pretty snow, yucky slush, Buffalo is becoming so pretty these days! The grass are sprouting quickly, flowers are blooming, the sky is an amazing blue with big white clouds hanging so low in the sky. Whenever I stare at the sky, I get lost in it. It seems so unbelievable that the sky can be so pretty. Nights these days have been filled with walks and sitting by the lake. Cycled/walked in the afternoon that lasted till night. Much fun. (:

J'ai une mauvaise grippe. Ce n'est pas bonne!

真糟糕！ 我生病了。）：为何天气变好的时候才生病哪?

Have been ill for 2 days now. Temperature has been hoovering at the low 37 range which means my body is obviously fighting something. Temperature rose slightly just now to 37 .6degreesC. 4 painkillers yesterday obviously didn't help much. Going to classes today was such a torture and for the whole of today I keep doing stupid things. O.O

Fun stuff for today: I walked past a protest rally outside Capen library and joined in the chanting! "Hey hey Ho ho, budget cuts have got to go!". We had a dinner picnic behind our apartments at the lake and watched the sun set.

Just had applesauce! Yums. Made me feel happier. I finally finished my work! Off to bed now.

Life of a college student

Here I am in my last semester and finally experiencing what I guess is the life of a college student. University before my last semester has been stressful at times but not quite like what I am experiencing right now. Not that I'm extremely stressed now, but the feeling is just different. More camping in the library, COFFEE (tsk!) etc. I guess I have only myself to blame or thank for this experience. After all, I'm taking all the 400-level finance courses on my own accord since I don't need it to graduate.

Just got back from the library where I have camped the whole afternoon studying theories which my brain really does not want to absorb but still needs too for the exam tomorrow. Got quite a scarwe when I got back to find the main door of my apartment closed but both locks not locked! Then I tried calling out to my room mate but she didn't respond and her door was closed. I opened her door slightly to check and it's dark but i think she's sleeping if I'm not wrong. Couldn't really see in the darkness. Hope she's feeling okay! Anyway, so I just got back from the library and showered immediately. So here I am now, at 10pm eating my delicious char siew rice. A trip to toronto for the rest results in delicious food for me! Yums. Food and show then it's back to studying.

I WILL CONQUER TOMORROW'S EXAM!

Harvard Dream

I've been having extremely weird dreams recently. Then again, I always seem to be having weird dreams so I suppose this is one of my many weird dreams. Anyway, in this dream, I dreamt I got accepted into Harvard! I didn't actually dream of the application part, so it was really random. It started off with me waiting in a room with many other people and then a few people walked in with stacks of envelopes each and we had to go to a certain someone according to our last name I think. You report your name, the person searches and if you were accepted, you get an envelope. So I was waiting in line, really nervous and then it was my turn! I went up, reported my name and was just thinking "Please let me have an envelope, please let me have an envelope!" while the person search through the pile. Then! I got an envelope and I was jumping all around screaming "I GOT AN ENVELOPE!"

So that was my Harvard dream. What reminded me of it is my upcoming MGF407 derivatives exam. The material is so difficult and my attempts to read through the textbook today proved rather futile. I just don't understand all the theories. So there, I guess my Harvard dream is really just a dream. I know I'm not smart enough. Not that I have plans to apply for Harvard though. It was nice dreaming I got accepted though. Hee.

Back to Wiener Process and Ito's Lemma. The people who comes up with such stuff, crazy brilliant though I slightly resent them for doing so. Still got to admire their brilliance though!

J'ai mal à la tête!

Owie. My head hurts terribly. Must be all the stress from the fine dining dinner. It was so stressful okay! Having to eat properly and all. Not to mention they purposely choose all the menu to include all the food that are difficult to eat. For everyone out there, DO NOT order long, stringy pasta of any kind, any meat with bone in it or a dessert with a rock hard piece of chocolate or anything you can't cut with a fork on top.

Anyway, here's a shout out to my sister! Thanks for sacrificing one full month's pay in order to come to the US to look for me and attend my commencement! I'm super touch. And shout out to my parents! Thanks for coming over and bringing my two siblings along too! I know it's super expensive. I'm super touched and excited to be meeting all of you soon. (:

Job hunting and application is not going good. At least I tried/am trying. It's tough not to get discouraged at times. I feel so stupid, not even knowing how to start looking for a job properly and all, and so inadequate when I see the requirements of needing previous experience. I know there's a job for me out there. I just need to find it. God, help me!

In need of serious rest now. Feeling horrible because of the funny feeling in my head.

My 3 happy things for today:

1. French exam was horrible for everyone even my teacher said so, especially the oral section. But I somehow managed to scrap a decent grade though. Thank God! It's a bit of a miracle that I managed to get such a grade. Just need to work harder for my remaining 2 quizzes and last final exam to pull my grade up a bit. No B in my last semester! I refuse!

2. I managed to catch the shuttle though it came early and I had to run for it! It wasn't a short run. Okay, this sounds like a bad thing but it's a good thing because the shuttle driver waited for me and I managed to catch it. If I had missed it, I wouldn't have been able to make it to class this morning.

3. Fine dining dinner tonight! Food was yummy though I couldn't really enjoy it as much as I normally would have.

4. Finally made it to the gym after a loooooooong time and watched spongebob squarepants while on the machine.

I know it says 3 things, but what harm will an additional happy thing do?

Bonne nuit tout le monde!

Retail Therapy

Have been buying clothes, probably too much (Sorry mum and dad! And Hi! I know you guys read this. HAHA.) . But I don't normally buy much clothes or anything else for that matter apart from food so I guess it's not that bad. After all, I need clothes right? Trip to the mall on Saturday landed me with a new pair of jeans (urgent necessity!), a new jacket (buy of the century! Super clearance and it was only 3.99 before tax), and a pair of sandals to get ready for the Spring season! Another cardigan and 2 blouses coming in the mail. Weee! Upcoming trip to Walden mall to look at F21 and other stores. Need to buy shorts and more basic tees to replace all my old tee shirts. Excited.

Retail Therapy Retail Therapy Retail Therapy
Feel Better Feel Better Feel Better

Life recently consists of Taiwan dramas, school work and exams. My french exam was disastrous which included me answering stuff like "Non, he does not like the film" to question like "Did he watch the film?" *heads desk* I totally did not catch what my teacher was saying and instead of leaving blank, I decided to try my luck with the few elements I caught. It was so bad! I don't want a B in my last semester. It would ruin my transcript. ): So worried and scared now.

My family is coming over for my commencement which is real soon! Only 4 more weeks as an undergraduate. Scary scary. I can't wait to see them though. It has been a long time. (:

I once read a book that started out with the character saying that whenever you're sad, think of 3 reasons to be happy for that day. I guess it's supposed to make people happy because they realize that their day was not that horrible after all. While it hasn't been sad or horrible (okay, actually it has considering how badly my french exam went and I still haven't won anything from Tim Hortons) the past few days, I've been feeling rather down for some reason. Whatever it is, it's probably a good way to be positive. My 3 reasons for today are:

1. I got back my MGF402 exam 2 paper today and I did well. Yay! Considering how rush and how late I had to stay up till to study, and not really understanding the questions and all, the result was very satisfying. I still don't understand the theory/reasoning behind the answers by the way.

2. I had time to watch Down with Love today! Yay to dramas!

3. Placed Charlotte Russe order. Yay to new clothes!

I totally forgot abt my MGF exam paper till I did this. Guess it's a good thing I decided to try. It's quite difficult thinking of 3 things though.

Cardboard Testimonies

Video Link

It's such a wonderful video. So touching and amazing. (:

Je suis fatiguée

This week has been a week of catching up on sleep debt. I'm still terribly, to the core, kind of tired though. Have been sleeping so much and find myself still wanting to sleep. However, some nights just find me tossing and turning. Hmmpf. Not feeling well at all.

Snowboarding tomorrow! A little excited yet more scared at the same time. Hope it goes well!

Along Our Journey

*sings* along our jourrrrrr-neyyyy!

Sitting in music class now. We just finished this insanely difficult piece. Hope we don't have to sing it for the concert!


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UB Gunmen

UB Gun Sighting

There were reports of a possible gunmen at Lockwood Library yesterday afternoon. The entire library was on lockdown by the police and everyone had to evacuate the building while the police comb the 6 story building for any weapons/gunman. Twitter and emails were frantic with updates. Classes were then canceled for the rest of the evening and everyone had to stay home. :/ I was safe and sound sleeping at home when it happened so I was not too affected. I was thinking how lucky I was not to be at the scene considering how Lockwood Library was where I camped out for the entire week last week till this Monday, most of the time for the entire day going from 9am to 9plus in the night. It must have been scary to be told to evacuate.

The school was so empty this morning! When my classes started, we had 6 students and 2 came later. I wonder if some people are staying away because of the incident which might not be impossible considering how we are just in the next building attached to that particular library.

The reports stated that police acted when they received a call about a suspicious person and the surveillance camera showed footage of a guy that matched the description. I would really love to see that footage from the surveillance camera! Though I wonder how people laid their hands on the footage above of the police searching the Cybrary. Now that I think about it, how scary was it! I guess it probably was a false alarm, but if the suspect knew that it was him who caused this incident since we know the time and location and what he was wearing, why won't he just come out to clarify it instead of leaving everybody apprehensive? Hmm. Something exciting to add to my UB experience.

Les verbes irregulier!

French exam tomorrow. A little freaked after that terrible practice quiz the other day. I wrote out a list of verbs I think I need to know and I am not having fun conjugating french verbs, especially irregular verbs.

Je déteste les verbes irregulier. J'ai mon examen de français demain et j'ai très peur! Ce semestre, le français est très difficile et les leçons ne sont pas amusant ou intéressant. ): Mais, je dois obtenir une bonne note pour le français ce semestre parce qu'il est ma deuxième langue.

Je dois étudier beaucoup!

Test

Testing!


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Hide and Seek

Love this song! I remember that there was an incredible dance to this song but can't find it now.

The Spider

The other day, I spotted a spider in the bathtub as I wanted to get ready to shower. My initial reaction, and usual reaction, is to turn on the shower head and kill the spider. I did initially, but somehow, this time I was so overwhlemed with guilt for trying to end the spider's innocent life. With "Spider murder" ringing in my head, I turned off the shower head and waited patiently for the spider to move out of the danger zone. Surely after being attacked by droplets of water enough to drown it, it will run right? Wrong. The spider stubbornly remained where it was and so being very patient and kind and brave, I manually moved the spider to a safe zone and proceeded with my shower. However, the stubborn (or maybe stupid) spider, insisted on crawling back into the tub and towards the water. It could not make up its mind on whether it wanted to go towards the water or away from it and any escape attempt was halfhearted. I did move it a second time, but it drowned in the end and died.

I tried to save it. But the spider was stubborn and insisted on moving into the "danger" zone. What could I have done? I waited. But the spider did not bug or made any attempt in rectifying its situation. What could I have done? I tried not to end its life journey. It seemed to want the opposite. What more could I have done? I can't wait forever.

And so the spider's life ended. Rest in peace stubborn spider. I tried. ）：

Then it got me thinking (what a lot of work a spider made me go through), sometimes no matter how much I want something to go on, it has to come to an end. As much as I tried to save the spider's life, the end was here for it. For everything else that all might think to last, just like the sudden end to a spider's life, maybe the end is here.

It reminded me of how small I am, and how much stuff is not within my control. There's nothing that I can do now, except lift my hands up and surrender, and watch how things unfold according to the perfect script for my life.

Ill

What a way to start the semester. I am ill with heavy head, blocked and runny nose and weird throat. I was also nearly late for my very first class of the semester and later, I realized my UB card dropped from the cardholder when I was at my apartment block. Thank God my roommate was home and Cassie kindly opened the door for me. Retraced my route after to try and look for my card in the cold as I need it to enter my apartment block. Thankfully though, I received a call from the apartment office saying that my card was there. So all's good at the end.

Just took a panadol and drank hot tea. Nap time now!

2010 - Big Year Ahead

First day of my last semester started today and the first class of my last semester has just ended. So while waiting to pass my french textbook over, I decided to camp out in Lockwood Library to escape for the torturous cold that is biting on the skin of those brave souls out there, attempt to start out the semester by being a studious student and print all my notes in advance and do something productive such as updating this badly outdated blog.

Much has passed since my dad's visit. I have been to Boston and back, passed my driving test and became a certified New York State driver, passed the winter holidays in absolute fun and silliness at times filled with lots of impromptu baking, movies, food and camping overs completed with a good trip to New York City and Philadelphia. How am I supposed to do a complete update on all these events, I have no idea now. I am determined to do so though, maybe in small posts and let's hope that determination does not die off halfway though I am very much afraid it most likely will.

During my very first class today, French, we had to ask our partner when is their graduation date. Saying it out loud today that I graduate in May really made me realize how soon it is till I am done with University. Needless to say, I'm naturally a little apprehensive and nervous about it. Here I am, at 20 years old, about to graduate in 4 months. What am I going to do after that? Studying has always been what I am supposed to do, my "job" from when I started school till now. To stop studying is scary. And of course I can't believe that my University phase just passed over in a flash. It has been too fast, too fun and maybe not what I really expected University to be. I suppose in a way I don't feel like I have learned enough or know enough to say I have graduated from University. Anyway, regardless of how I feel, the job hunt starts now. Attended the Network New York while I was in New York City and was slapped with facts of how difficult to the point of being impossible for international students to land themselves a job for reasons of being too expensive especially in today's economy. Obviously I am still going to try for anything I can get, even if it's only an internship for 3 months. But on the other hand, I have to be realistic and give myself a time period to look for a job, after that I will probably just return to Singapore for good and begin my job hunt there.

It's a big, maybe exciting year ahead, turning 21, graduating, starting work. May God bless me through it!

The other posts will come soon. For now, I leave you guys these rants. (: