The Spider

The other day, I spotted a spider in the bathtub as I wanted to get ready to shower. My initial reaction, and usual reaction, is to turn on the shower head and kill the spider. I did initially, but somehow, this time I was so overwhlemed with guilt for trying to end the spider's innocent life. With "Spider murder" ringing in my head, I turned off the shower head and waited patiently for the spider to move out of the danger zone. Surely after being attacked by droplets of water enough to drown it, it will run right? Wrong. The spider stubbornly remained where it was and so being very patient and kind and brave, I manually moved the spider to a safe zone and proceeded with my shower. However, the stubborn (or maybe stupid) spider, insisted on crawling back into the tub and towards the water. It could not make up its mind on whether it wanted to go towards the water or away from it and any escape attempt was halfhearted. I did move it a second time, but it drowned in the end and died.

I tried to save it. But the spider was stubborn and insisted on moving into the "danger" zone. What could I have done? I waited. But the spider did not bug or made any attempt in rectifying its situation. What could I have done? I tried not to end its life journey. It seemed to want the opposite. What more could I have done? I can't wait forever.

And so the spider's life ended. Rest in peace stubborn spider. I tried. ）：

Then it got me thinking (what a lot of work a spider made me go through), sometimes no matter how much I want something to go on, it has to come to an end. As much as I tried to save the spider's life, the end was here for it. For everything else that all might think to last, just like the sudden end to a spider's life, maybe the end is here.

It reminded me of how small I am, and how much stuff is not within my control. There's nothing that I can do now, except lift my hands up and surrender, and watch how things unfold according to the perfect script for my life.